Arrest

News is just coming in that two Aston Villa employees have been detained by Spanish Police just outside of Malaga.

Details are scant right now, but witnesses report that the pair were seen loading a large, locked box into the boot of their Seat vehicle in Birmingham, England. It’s believed that they may have been under the impression that they were tasked with taking Aston Villa’s football kit to Spain. The reason for this is not clear at this stage.

Macabre

Police pulled the unnamed pair over just north of Malaga after receiving an anonymous tip off that they were engaged in illegal people trafficking. The vehicles were searched and the box removed.

When the box was opened, Police found what is being described as “the most macabre scene ever discovered in the Costa Del Sol”. Instead of a football kit, Police discovered the bodies of five professional footballers. The bodies have yet to be identified, but rumours are surfacing that Fulham’s Brede Hangeland may be among the victims.

PR Stunt

As this stage it’s thought that this is a PR Stunt gone horribly wrong. No one at Villa Park was available for comment, but sources close to Martin O’Neill have claimed that the box was due to be opened to reveal Aston Villa’s new home kit for the 2009/10 season. It’s believed that O’Neill was actually planning on revealing his new signings to a shocked audience and stunned fans. However, he may have forgotten to drill some air holes and his 5 stars have suffocated.

More details to follow.