As a rule I try to avoid the more scurrilous stories, but as I decided to opine on Emile Heskey’s apparent cry for first team action recently I feel strangely compelled to continue the trend with the most tenuous of links.

Apparently there was a story in one of the Sunday rags about an unnamed England player sending Fabio Capello into fits of rage for using their mobile phone during dinner while away on England duty.

Well, guess who’s not endearing himself to the national manager any more than his club manager.  Phew!!  I’m glad the culprit has been revealed and we can all sleep again.

Or maybe we should just file this under ‘whatever’ and move on to something slightly more interesting.