Another of these videos has mysteriously leaked from the training ground. This time it’s James Milner kicking balls into wheelie bins by deflecting them off the crossbar. This also proves that Milner will remain an Aston Villa player since it’s a well known fact that they don’t have wheelie bins in Manchester, so why would he want to go there?

Did you spot the glimpse of Ash at the beginning? I assume that the next video will be “Ashley Young – Keepy-Uppy King”, or suchlike. All good fun. I wonder if there’s a Richard Dunne video where he just wonders around with strikers in his pocket, drinking tea (actually, probably Guinness) and reading the paper.

No, probably not. I’ll get my coat.